One more week with my son

in one week my son is off to college. Like every parent I am bursting with pride that my son is going to college and like every parent I am scraping money together to have enough for the next tuition check. I am worried about him.  That he won't fit in, that he won't make friends, that he will fail all his classes, that he won"t like it. I am worried because he is my first born, my only son and I will not be there to protect him.

At the same time, I hope that he does take advantage of this experience to the fullest. I want him to go to school and appreciate life. Maybe not in the crazy dumb frat brother kind of way, but be a part of the college.  I hope he joins clubs and has a part time job at the college. I hope he meets other students and talks about ideas from their different points of view. I hope he learns to cook so he does not starve or eat too much Top Ramen. I hope he participates in college, not just spectate so.

Sick little boy

My son is 18 years old, as tall as me and in much better shape. He ate something bad yesterday and spent the day sick. As big as he is and as strong as he is and as much as he is a grown up who does not need me, yesterday he did. And I fussed over him and worried about him and took care of him.  All day.

He may be big in size, but he is still the same boy I did laps around the kitchen humming and singing him to sleep to rock and roll oldies because I didn't know any lullaby so. He is mine. I will always worry about him.  He is my son.

My boss left today

scott retired today. As he said when he told us a couple of weeks ago, he served at the pleasure of the chair, and she did not want him to serve any longer. He did a lot in his 43 years.  I think that all of his managers like him.  I am not sure all his field officers and line staff did, but it is was it is.  I was happy to work for Scott. As I have said many times, if Scott was the manager of Burger King, I would work for him.

I know that things will change in the office, just not completely sure how much. I will have the support of Truls, I am just not sure Truls will have the same polical clout as Scott. He still has the weight of Multnomah County, but not sure that is enough.

I still have the challenge of my team and getting them to do anything.  I would just like o complete a project in less than six months. I am tired of hearing that it is impossible to forecast how long a project will take or that we can't possibly set a date.  I just do not know how to build a sense of urgency in them.

Truls did give me some advice today to work with Lisa. He said meet with her often, be kind, and over communicate. It sounds a lot like keep your friends close and your enemies closer. That is an accurate way of how I feel.

Something other than kids

i took the day off of work today to help Pop, my 83-year-old father-in-law get information for taxes.  That really didn't go so well.  I spent most of the day running errands and him telling me he did not need help.

A lot of old people talked to me today. I like to think I am friendly, but old people talked to me at CostCo, when I was eating, at Social Security. I know, there are a bunch of old people at Social Security, but I was not inviting the conversation. They just saw me and had the tell me something because I reminded them of a nephew or brother or just where they were. Am I really that interesting, or do old people just want conversation?

Pretty normal Wednesday

The kids went to school, we went to work, both kids had soccer practice after school and we had dinner this evening.  There really isn't much excitement to my wife two kids and a mortgage, but that is what America describes as my ideal of success.

We are continuing the College hunt for Andrew. He was frustrated with his video project today.  He worries me, but if I didn't have something to worry about I would be lost. He expects to be able to create excellence after really taking a class for two weeks.  Delaney is the same.  They both expect to be amazing at whatever new skill or task or class they try, the first time they do it.  When do they learn patience, hard work, and perseverance.

The dogs got groomed yesterday. Mage wagon is being repaired so I had to get them there is the VW Bug. No one wanted them in their car.

Still trying to lose weight and still clocking in at 302. Some day I hope to lose weight.

Checking in after a while

just saying hello.  I always say I will write more and then never do.

It will be busy at our house from here until the end of school.  Andrew will graduate three months from today. I know everyone says it and it is a terrible cliche, but the time went so quick. There is still so much I want to show him and so much I want to teach him, but I also want him to go and start his own adventure. I cannot tell you what that will look like, or where he will end up, but he will figure out the next chapter in his life.

Andrew didn't think he would be accepted at any college. I am sure it was because of me constantly hounding him about homework and his grades. More positive comments could have done wonders for him. And more follow through.  At this point, Andrew has been accepted to five colleges.  I am hoping for one year he goes to study in Paris, and then takes the opportunity to apply to outlandish schools that he did not apply to because ho didn't think he would get in anywhere.

He had soccer practice tonight and came home all excited because he got to play offense. He actually scored the winning goal.  Soccer has been great for him, and Beckett has totally impacted his life.

Let me close with the stats of the day. Still over 300 pounds. Still over the daily calorie lintake

Happy New Year 2018

Happy New Year 2018!  I can only hope 12 months from now things have changed for the better.  I hope that I am 80 pounds lighter.  I hope that my daughter will go to sleep at night and be less dramatic. I hope my son is in college. 

That is all.  It was a New Years's Eve at home last night. Dana made fondue and we ate bread and cheese.  Andrew went to Shari's and had milkshakes with friends.  We made Delaney stay up until midnight to watch the ball drop in Times Square. 

Today was spent putting Christmas away. Glad to see it go and am hoping things change with the new year. You would think something has to get better. It really can't get much worse without going completely off the rails. The one positive change today was Delaney played indoor soccer with Andrew. She grudgingly had fun and ended up with a Lenny FC shirt. 

I am trying to include a picture for each day. This as dinner tonight. Dana used her Sous Veed to cook steaks and re-create our dinner at Mortons'