The American Health Care System

Sorry, today we are taking a break from the more light hearted subject and ranting about the American health care system. For whatever reason in our household, December is the most dangerous month for our family members. So far this month, my wife Dana has spent three days in the hospital, Andy has gone to the emergency room for stitches, and Audrey had to make an office visit to the family doctor. We have also had December hospital visits for a stroke (my mother-in-law), pins removed from Andrew's broken elbow, another three day stay for Dana all in the past three years.



I guess what frustrates me most is the lack of information and control that you as a patient have, once you are admitted into the system. Our family is lucky in that we have health insurance. I think the cost of health care is ridiculous, and I really think one of the best things that would improve health care in America would be if the hospitals were required to list the prices for their services. You know, hip replacement surgery, $7200, one day hospital stay, $1200, X-rays, 3 for $299. Yes, it might sound ridiculous, but don't you shop for food, clothing, cars, houses, Christmas presents, and virtually everything else because of price. I am not saying that I always buy the cheapest car or vegetables, but I at least know which store is more expensive than the others. Nowadays, you go to a hospital because it is closest to you or your doctor recommends it. Anyway, I know that I am lucky and most of the cost of this medical care will be paid for by an insurance company, but that doesn't mean I thought it was the best, necessary, or in the interest of me the patient.



Dana and I went to the hospital emergency room at 11:00pm on a Sunday night. We had called our family doctor before we left and relayed the symptoms over the phone. He recommended going to the emergency room and even faxed over her records to the emergency room so they had detailed history of what care she had received in previous episodes. When we arrived at the emergency room the people were nice, but it all started new. They had to do this test and this x-ray and we asked if they had received the fax from our doctor which they said they had, but they just wanted to see for themselves and make sure. The doctor wanted to place a tube in my wife's stomach and we asked that we not do that and maybe there was a different method of treating her. The doctor relented, but my wife was still admitted to the hospital.



Once your admitted, then you enter a new level. Sometimes the nurses and doctors talk to the family members sometimes they don't. I could accompany her to the CAT Scan room, but not to have x-rays taken. The nurses shared information with me about my wife, but the doctor couldn't because of "HIPPA Regulations". The biggest thing is, if you ever disagree or would like to try something different from the doctor's recommendation, then you are classified as "refusing treatment" which is code for the insurance company won't have to pay for any of this and you will have to sell your house, car, and first born child to pay for $50,000 dollars or more of health care that these benevolent souls have so graciously given to you out of the kindness of their hearts and not to pay for the ever increasing construction and remodel of the hospital you are staying in. And you know, they boasted of the new Stroke care center the hospital had just opened, but the two closest restrooms to my wife's hospital room were both under construction so that I had to go down one floor every time I needed to use the bathroom.



Since we were new to this hospital, (we recently bought a new home and this hospital was closer) we were assigned a doctor. Our family doctor does not have privileges at this hospital, so he never came to see my wife. The tube in the stomach that we had successfully argued to keep out in the emergency room was placed in by the new doctor, after Dana had been sedated and I had gone home for an hour to pick up the kids from school and take them to their grandmother's house. When I returned, I asked to speak to the doctor and four hours later when she did arrive, we were told that this was what she thought was best. Once again we asked if she had received the faxed information from our family doctor about the past care Dana had received from a different hospital and she assured us she had, but at her hospital, this was the process and this was the way things were done, and this was what she thought was the best method. So, imagine my surprise when 24 hours later, after a 10 minute conversation with a surgeon, he said you don't need that tube and removed it.



Yes, the nurses and doctors helped Dana, took care of her, and without them she would still be sick and have suffered great pain. However, when the time came that we were released, it felt more like we had been released from prison and pardoned by the warden than helped by a doctor who cared for us as a patient, a person, and another human being.



For Andy, he had fallen on a rock at school and needed stitches. We called our family doctor and they do not have the facilities in their office for stitches, so they offered to call the Urgent Care or emergency room. Our neighbors across the street are a paramedic and an emergency room nurse. Our first instinct was to ask Sam and Lisa if we really needed to get stitches because we didn't want to go through the hassle of the hospital system. Unfortunately, stitches were necessary. Yet, even with Lisa calling the emergency room and Urgent Care clinics at three locations to determine who was not that busy, we still faced a 2-hour wait when we arrived. Then, the confusion on the nurses faces when we told them we had insurance and they asked, "well, why didn't you go to the hospital emergency room". Our doctor told us to come here because the wait was shorter. Then, because we had insurance, which apparently 99% of their patients do not, they weren't sure what paperwork to fill out, if we needed to pay a deposit or the whole amount, whether they could bill us later, etc. After a 15 minute discussion among the nurses, while Andy continued to hold his arm, they decided that as long as they had the medical insurance information that would be enough. Next, when they began to provide care to Andy and treat his cut, they asked if he had any allergies and if he had his immunizations. Dana said no and even had his shot record with her. he asked if they needed to see it, to which the nurse replied, "No, that's OK." Then, why did you ask? If we didn't have the shot records with us would that have meant more tests or shots or drawing blood?



Like I said, the care was fine in both cases and I am grateful my wife and children are healthy now. But the process and system that you have to go through to receive medical care is way too complex and intimidating that going to receive care from a doctor is a last resort when the problems are now extremely complicated. Instead, you wish you could go for preventative care or before the pain is excruciating and then the results would be better, the people would be nicer, and doctors wouldn't be so paranoid that you are going to sue them.

Listening to the kids and laughing

We were doing some Christmas shopping the other day and as we were driving in the car, our 4-year old, Audrey asks my wife, "Do more people get arrested at night or during the day?" It wasn't quite in the league of "where do babies come from mommy", but it wasn't the normal question about Disney princesses or what we were having for dessert. Dana answered that she thought that the police helped more people at night time and more people were probably brought to jail at night time, too.

This only prompted her 7-year old brother, Andy to chime in with, "Of course more people get arrested at night. They dress in black and hide in the shadows so the police can't see them and they hide under the windows to steal things out of the houses. Some of them are thugs in a gang or mean customers and some of them can be ninjas, too." At this point the flood gates opened and Dana and I just listened.

"If I was a ninja I would wear pink," replied Audrey.

"The police would see you and then you wouldn't be a very good robber," Andy continued.

"I still like pink and I would be quiet," Audrey persisted.

"You would still be caught. Good robbers know how to hide in the shadows and pick locks and steal things."

"I don't like to be arrested, but I do like pink."

It was like listening to two conversations where both people were talking but neither one of them listening. It was polite and cordial, just made no sense whatsoever. And here I thought the nights of reading the Hardy Boys mysteries to him were because he liked them, and not to give him pointers on how to be a better criminal. Although, I still am not sure where the Ninjas came from.

Halloween

Happy Halloween a couple of days late. I took the kids trick or treating around the neighborhood on Wednesday night. Andy was dressed as a Jedi knight and Audrey was Ariel form the Little Mermaid. I was most proud of the fact that the costumes were put together from other costumes of previous years and things around the house. This was the first year that we spent no money buying costumes! Maybe it is something that we never did as kids and am glad to return to that, or maybe it is my personal rebellion against how Halloweeen rivals Christmas is out of control spending on costumes, decorations, and otherwise unnecessary things. Don't get me wrong, my favorite part of Halloween is carving pumpkins and putting a light in the Jack 'o Lantern on Halloween night, but spending $20 at Target or the Disney Store for your kids to wear their costume once seems ridiculous. Maybe if I had two boys or two girls and could at least get more than one wearing out of it I would be better with it, but it still just rubs me the wrong way.

But I have digressed and turned cynical when this was supposed to be a Happy Halloween post. So what did I like...

-- that my children looked wonderful in their costumes and both smiled and looked at the camera in at least one of the dozen pictures that we took before setting out for the night of trick or treating.
-- the excitement in each of their eyes as they were presented with bowls full of candy to choose from as they selected the perfect piece.
-- that they talked to me as we walked in between houses and we looked at pumpkins that other people had carved and appreciated their hard work.
-- that they said "Thank you" without being prompted at most of the houses after collecting their candy.
-- that the best part of the night was coming home and showing Mom their loot, sorting, trading, and sharing some with Mom as they drank hot chocolate after a night of trick or treating.

Holidays and children are alot of fun.

The Swedes are laughing at us!!!

I went to Ikea over the weekend with my wife. We like Ikea and think that there storage ideas are always neat to look at. Our bed, bookcase, coffee table and kitchen table are all from Ikea, so it wasn't like this was our first time in the store. We were looking at new sofas and generally browsing through the store when we came to the children's section. Once again, as a general rule, Ikea does have some nice things. We bought our first wooden train set for our son there which has since exploded into many, many, many more pieces, but that is another story. Anyway, we noticed their stuffed animals which we have been guilty of buying for whining children as a way of keeping them entertained and maintaining peace and a tantrum free shopping trip. yet, on this day, we were struck by how ugly these stuffed animals were. There was a bat, a snake, something that looked like a weasel, and a gopher. And, of course, our favorite, a rat! Has buying unnecessary crap become so ingrained in American society that we now buy ugly stuffed animals in the shape of nasty creatures just so our children won't whine. The Swedes have to be laughing at us. It is probably a contest who can design and sell the most ugly toys to us. Wow, talk about being smacked in the face by consumerism, that was it.

It should go without saying, that we decided our old sofa wasn't really that bad. We bought a picture frame, and a box to store magazines. That was enough for us for one day.

I have an excuse this time

Well, it has been a while, but that is because I was on vacation. I went to California to see my family. There was alot of driving from house to house and visiting cousins, but it was fun. The kids got to swim, which they loved, and we went to the beach which is always a treat. Other than that, they bounced on the trampoline with their cousins, rode bikes in the driveway, and made play-dough with Aunt Barb. A pretty typical family vacation.

When we arrived home, we were greeted with a leaking main water line. Just in case we hadn't spent enough money on our vacation, we got to shell out an additional $2500 dollars to replace our water line. What looked like a little leak turned into the mantra that every contractor, plumber, electrician, or other tradesman is taught in school. "Oh no problem it should be easy to fix." Then, as soon as they have ripped up your floor, knocked a whole in your wall, or cut off the electricity to your kitchen, "Wow! Who would have built it like this? I can't believe they did it this way? Well, i don't know..." At this point they trail off with a blank stare and then pronounce that it is going to take twice as long, require twice the number of people to do it, and probably four times the cost. It wasn't that bad, but what was a little leak at the water meter turned in to pipe that was out of code and had to be replaced. On the good news side, they were able to bore under the driveway so they only had to jack hammer the sidewalk to get it fixed. Maybe I'll encourage my son to become a plumber. They can't outsource that job to China or India.

Failing as a blogger

It has been over a week. This is why I just can't see what being a blogger is all about? If I needed a diary, I would keep a diary. I don't really imagine that my life is so earth-shattering that people are waiting on the edge of their seats each day, checking to see if I have written something new. Yet, I swore I would do this so I am not one of those people who become old and set in their ways and just can't figure out what all the kids are talking about with the new technology.

Not much to say today. It is Monday. My Saturday was spent shuttling between kids' soccer games, grocery shopping, and running errands. It is the 4th week of school and we did have our first homework emergency last night. Yes, Andrew was selected to bring in the "Magic Star" board this week. It is a chance for each child to decorate a poster board with photos and pictures and stickers telling about themselves. A great idea, but he is seven years old. Maybe it is me manifesting my ideas onto the school work of a 2nd grader, but my grand design ideas were in conflict wit his crayon on white paper with some Spiderman stickers. Well, I shouldn't be too critical, at least this year Andrew did write down all the different things that he wanted to talk about and grouped them in to categories. After that, we sat at the computer and sorted through digital photos that I keep telling myself I am going to organize and categorize with logical names instead of the date that is assigned by the camera every time I download them. Hundreds and hundreds of pictures, and I can't find anything. So we sat and chose the ones he liked and I cropped and fixed red eye and made sure their were no goofy faces and 45 minutes we had pictures for the board.

That was my limit. After that I turned it over to my wife the scrapbooker. It took her half the time and with her cutters and fancy glue pens and highlighters and fancy paper she had converted what I thought was a hopeless pile of disorganized photos into a homework project that will make all the other parents squirm as they think of ways that "their child" can do it better than "Andy" did. Competition is a wonderful thing.

2nd Day, 2nd Entry

Well, two days in a row. I guess that I am officially a blogger now, although I just started looking at all the lists and link and pictures and "about me" things that i can include on my blog. I will figure them out later on.

Today, I am tired. It was a sleepover last night. Yes, we have had a sleepover before, but this was our first weeknight sleepover. It was our friends anniversary and they had plans to go away for the night. They asked if Andrew's friend Andrew could come over after school and spend the night. We said yes and Andrew has been counting down the days until this grand event for the last week. Andrew C. and Andrew H. have been in school together for two years as well as Cub Scouts. That is how they address each other when at school, soccer games, or playing lego in the basement. A normal conversation is
"Hey, Andrew C. do you want to build Legos?"
"Sure Andrew H." (They are 7 years old and live by the code of short sentences.)
"I'm going to build a boat, Andrew C."
"Cool! I'm going to build a bigger boat Andrew H."
"Well my boat will be faster than yours Andrew C"...

Anyway, they arrived on our doorstep after racing down the hill from the bus stop and announced they were thirsty and needed a snack. The afternoon was spent hunting frogs and tadpoles in the backyard, one of their favorite activities. My wife called me at work to brag that so far she was the only one to actually catch a frog and the boys thought she was very cool to help catch frogs. The rest of the afternoon was spent riding bikes and scooters, performing jumps and me averting my eyes as they came down the hill at speeds that I could only imagine would result in a trip to the emergency room, but thankfully they had fun, no major scrapes or bruises, or grand wipeouts for Youtube viewing.

Dinner was the traditional kid standby of pizza, followed by gameboy, and then the Star Wars DVD and a bowl of popcorn. It amazes me that they are still fascinated with a movie made 20 years before they were born and watched 20 times before in their lives.

My First Entry

My name is Mike. I am 41 years old, reasonably computer literate, but have never understood why anyone would have a blog. I hear news shows talk about checking the blogs to see what they are saying, but I wouldn't know how to do that. A few of my friends and my brother have blogs, but I haven't read more than the first entry or two after they called me really excitedly to say, "Dude, check out my blog!" I admit it, I just don't get what a blog is for or why anyone would have one. It just seems like one person's opinion or rambling with no accountability or responsibility for anything they say.

So then... why I am here today. I guess that I want to take the plunge like everyone else and have a group of people somewhere in the world say, I know how he feels. That is all. I am not out to support a political candidate or rant about the government. I have no interest in some charity or public service calling, and I promise that you will never see naked pictures of me taken from a webcam or cell phone cam. If I want a picture, I will use my camera, thank you very much.

Well, where to start? Let's begin with the title of my blog, "a wife, 2 kids, and a mortgage." All the blogs sites say to write about what you know. I am not a self help advice columnist, nor am I a get rich quick secret to investing stocks in just ten minutes a day type person. I am pretty average, I guess. When you are younger and dream of being an astronaut or movie star or professional baseball player and swear that you are never going to end up like your parents with a wife, 2 kids, and a mortgage. Well, like 99% of the rest of you, it is what I have become. I have a wife, two kids (boy-7 and girl-4), a dog, two cats, and a mortgage. Really there is nothing exciting or out of the ordinary about my life which is why I couldn't imagine anyone reading this blog, but here it is. Like the millions of other blogs, podcasts, websites, and other bits of data clogging the internet. Thanks for reading

Yesterday was my 8th wedding anniversary. I woke up in the morning and walked the dog, made school lunches, walked my son to the bus stop, said good-bye to my wife, and went on my way to work. I came home in the evening and my wife had already gone to work. I stayed home with the kids, made tacos for dinner, did homework, got them baths, read books before bedtime, and then watched TV until my wife came home. We talked about her work and my work and want we needed to do for the kids and school and soccer games this weekend. I walked the dog before bed and then went to sleep.

I am not complaining, but I find it interesting that in eight years we have gone from a dynamic couple who went out with friends (even on weeknights), had BBQs and parties, travelled, grand plans of future careers, and did adventurous things are now the same two people with a very set routine. Now when we go out on a weeknight it is to Cub Scouts or Back to School Night. Kids are fun, and I love my to the whole wide world, but they can also be fun sponges. And I know that as I grow up my priorities are supposed to change and I become more mature, more responsible, but do I need be be stiff and dead like people in British TV shows and Masterpiece Theater? Today, I will change. I read a saying once, "did you choose the life you're living - or just fall into it". Today, I am going to start making a choice.