Differences in childhood

I called my nephew the other night to wish him a Happy 12th Birthday.  It was 8:30 or 9:00, I do not really remember.  He was already asleep so I had to call him the next day.  I talked to my brother for a while and related what my children were doing and how our summer had gone so far.  I did not think much of it, but after the call I recognized how different our children' lives were based on where we live, age/gender, and different parenting styles.  It was pretty amazing to me how different they had grown and really wondered if the kids could identify with what their cousins lives would be like.

To start, Quinn was in bed.  My children enjoy the summer evenings with it staying light until 9:30 every night.  They play outside with friends, watch the sunset from the backyard, or watch movies or play games in the house.  Andrew was actually on a picnic dinner with five of his friends from school.  I had just taken for granted that we can let Andrew and his group of friends walk or bike to the store, Subway, pizza, etc and we just assume that is normal.  My brother lives in the suburbs of Los Angeles.  Doing the same thing there seems impractical and something of the past.  We live in the suburb or Portland, and I do not think it is any safer or more dangerous than Sherman Oaks, but it is just a different culture, different way of life, different behavior is expected.

Dana and I want our children to be independent and understand the world they are growing up in.  They help cook dinner every night, have chores around the house, but we still encourage them to go out into the neighborhood without us hovering behind making sure no harm can come to them.  As our children have grown older, I have embraced the fact the failure is a learning opportunity, and it is more important for my children to be kind, polite, able to communicate, and have confidence in themselves than if they have straight A's, excel at all sports, are the president of every club they join, and never have any problems.  At some point, you no longer get a trophy for showing up.  Mom and Dad will not be there to clear any and all obstacles out of the way.  At some point, my children will go forth into the world and face life just like the rest of us.

The admiration of a sister

So the other evening we were talking about the kids at high school.  The latest scuttlebutt is that two freshmen had sex while the boys friends listened outside the door.  Both Andrew and Delaney were perplexed as to why anyone would do something like that.  Both the boy behaving that way and why a girl would have sex with a boy if he was such a jerk.  Anyway, Dana said maybe the girl felt bad about herself and felt that the only way she could get attention was to have sex with boys.  And that boys sometimes just want to get their dick wet and really don't like the girl.

Now that really threw Delaney for a loop.  "Do boys really talk that way about girls" she asked Dana.

"Yes, unfortunately most boys that age do not have really good manners", she continued.  Then, Delaney turned to Andrew with all admiration, trust, and sweetness of a little sister and told her big brother that he should never talk that way about girls or she would kill him.

Silence from Andrew...