Andrew and his friends have invented a game at school called, "Ben Ball". two of his friend's names are Ben. Not the most original, but still, it is a game with rules and is fun and everyone has gotten along for almost two weeks playing Ben ball at the lunch recess. The game involves taking turns kicking a soccer ball against a wall. If you touch the ball more than twice or if the ball bounces before it hits the wall, the other person gets a point.
So the problem started about a week ago when two other boys lurked on the sides, and when the ball was kicked towards them, they would grab the ball and run away. Instead of Ben Ball, it turned in to keep away with my son and his group of friends getting frustrated. Well, sure enough, keep away turned into "smear the queer". That's what we called it when I was younger, but of course that is politically incorrect now. The two boys were chasing after the ball and Lizzie, one of Andrews friends, pushed the boy out of the way so he would not get the ball. He fell, and as the Asst Principal told us, "he had abrasions". In my day, if you tripped on the playground you skinned your knee, but now that has elevated to "abrasions" To make a long story short, the boy was hurt, Lizzie got detention because of a zero tolerance policy for violence, and Ben Ball has been banned. So, the school has taught our kids that if you organize a game with clear rules and are having fun, but a bully comes and takes your ball, the school will reward the bully and punish you. Nice lesson!
So, back to the original point of all of this story...I was proud of Andrew. First, of the seven or eight boys who play Ben Ball. Andrew was the only one who went to the office and talked with the asst principal on Lizzie's behalf and tried to present their side of the story. She did compliment him and told us he was very well spoken with grown ups. Yes, we have taught him that since he was three years old and we kind of assumed all kids were like that. Anyway, the boy who was pushed over by Lizzie, is named Brandon. Andrew and his group of friends went to Willamette Elementary and Brandon and the other boy, Lucas, went to Stafford Elementary. Herein lies the problem. In addition, Andrew and Brandon know each other because their sisters play on the same soccer team. At the soccer practices, they play together without a problem, but not so at lunch recess.
My wife Dana, being the smart parent in our house, talked with Andrew and said, maybe they just want to play Ben ball with you guys. Andrew said that they had never asked, but Dana persisted and said that maybe they didn't know how or were nervous because all of you were from Willamette elementary. So, yesterday at the girl's soccer practice as I coached my 3rd grade phenoms, Andrew and Brandon played and talked and had a great time. On the way home, Andrew said to me, "mom was right". I asked what that meant and he said that he liked Brandon and he did want to play Ben Ball with him. Andrew invited him to play with them and eat lunch with them, too. Brandon said that Lucas was his only friend and he really wanted to join their group of boys, but didn't know about Lucas. Without missing a beat, Andrew said, "Lucas can join us too."
